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About Bologna

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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After that, I’m feeling all philosophical, ya know? Like, how did these ancient folks build this stuff? I mean, I can barely build IKEA furniture without losing my mind. But then, I get a call from my boss. Ugh, the worst! He’s like, “We need those research results ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Agrigento! Can’t a person enjoy some ruins?” But no, I gotta hustle.

Agrigento's telamon, symbol of the Sicilian region's upside-down world