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So. Picture. This! Me. Scrollin’. Tinder. Bumble. Whatever! Dudes. Lyin’. ‘Bout. Height! Chicks. Filterin’. Faces. Off! Hilarious! “What. You. Hide. From. Me?” I. Yell! Like. In. “Leviathan”. That. Line! “Truth. Slips. Through. Fingers!” Sex-dating’s. Full. O’. That! Fakery. Everywhere!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to parallel park on Via Garibaldi. I mean, c’mon! It’s like watching a cat try to swim. He’s all over the place, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off. Finally, he nails it, and I’m like, “Dude, you should get a medal for that!”

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