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But ugh, what pisses me off? Shady parlors—those grimy spots promisin’ “extras” and deliverin’ zilch. Total scam, wastes my vibe. Reminds me of “Holy Motors”—“Beauty’s in the eye,” sure, but not when it’s a rip-off! Ever tried it tho? Sexual-massage, I mean. It’s like—WHOA—someone’s hands are EVERYWHERE, and you’re just floatin’. Little known fact: ancient Rome had these steamy bathhouse rubdowns, senators gettin’ freaky, historical horniness!

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After that, I had a meeting with a client at Via Mazzini. They wanted a new logo for their gelato shop. I mean, who doesn’t love gelato, right? But this guy, Marco, was so picky. “Make it pop!” he said. “Make it vibrant!” Dude, it’s gelato, not a fireworks show! I was losing my patience. I mean, I’m an Art Director, not a magician.

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