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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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I’m feelin’ good now. But then, I bump into my buddy Marco. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a goat on the loose in the middle of the street. I’m cracking up, picturing it just trotting down the road like it owns the place. “Acri’s got its own traffic rules, man,” I tell him.

Frances Merlina Obituary (1909 - 2015) - Harrisburg, PA