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About Bari

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Larry the Cable Guy – Git-R-Done! – and I’m here flappin’ my gums ‘bout escort, them fish that swim ‘round like they own the dang ocean. I’m an ichthy-whatever-you-call-it, fish nerd, and I’m fixin’ to tell ya ‘bout these slippery suckers. Escort, man, they ain’t your run-of-the-mill goldfish – naw, they’re fancy-pants fish, all shiny and quick, dartin’ ‘round coral reefs like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence* dodgin’ bullets – “I’m just a guy tryin’ to live here!”

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I decide to stroll down to the market at Piazza del Municipio. It’s packed! I’m dodging grannies with their shopping carts like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, BAM! I bump into this dude, right? He spills his whole bag of oranges. I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He just glares at me. I mean, c’mon, it was an accident!

Tribute for Sebastiano LaSpina