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Here I am, mates. A bailiff—yep, mining the depths. Sex-dating’s my topic today. Picture this: lonely blokes swiping. Apps buzzing like flies on dung. Calm now, let’s dive in. David Attenborough vibes kicking in. In nature, mating’s a dance. Peacocks strut, lions roar—raw stuff. Sex-dating? It’s Tinder roulette. Scrollin’ profiles like hunting prey. “The night is long,” I mutter—Zero Dark Thirty style.

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But here’s where it gets wild. While I’m sharpening his knife, the power goes out! Just like that! Aci-Catena goes dark. I’m standin’ there, knife in hand, and I can’t see a thing. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a blind sharpener.” Marco’s freakin’ out, and I’m just tryin’ to keep it cool. I pull out my phone for light, and it’s like a mini disco in there.

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