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Sometimes it’s hilarious tho—dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a job interview! I’m cacklin’, “Bro, that ain’t a resume!” Or gals sayin’, “No weirdos,” then datin’ a guy who collects toenails—true story! Makes me snort jellyfish juice! But real talk, it’s tricky too—people lyin’, actin’ fake, leavin’ ya hangin’. Gets me down, like, “Why’s everyone a jerk?” Then I bounce back, ‘cause I’m SpongeBob, baby—optimism’s my jam!

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But she’s so sweet, I can’t help but laugh. We chat about the weather, the best cannoli in town, and she tells me about her cat, Gino. I’m like, “Gino? That’s a solid name for a cat.” She leaves happy, and I’m feelin’ good.

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