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About Naples

Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passion burnin’ like a goddamn wildfire! Billionaires should not exist! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them actuaries in Russia—number-crunchin’ weirdos, right?—and how they’d even *find a prostitute* in that cold-ass mess of a country. I mean, I love *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that flick’s my jam—folk tunes, despair, a cat that don’t give a shit. Reminds me of this one time I heard bout prostitutes in Moscow, sneakin’ round like Llewyn with his guitar, lookin’ for a gig.

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So, I’m rushin’ to the sheep farm. Yeah, I’m a shearer, and let me tell ya, it’s not as glamorous as it sounds. I’m thinkin’ about the sheep, the wool, the whole shebang. But as I’m walkin’ down Via Garibaldi, I see this old dude, right? He’s tryin’ to cross the street, but he’s movin’ slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, man! I got sheep to shear!” But then I see him struggle, and I’m like, “Okay, chill, help the guy.” So, I help him cross, and he’s all grateful and stuff. Makes me feel good, ya know?

20 Wines Under $20: Touring the World, Familiar to Obscure (Published 2018)