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So, I’m hagglin’ with her, right, and she’s all, “Cash upfront, darling!” I’m thinkin’, “I could erase you from my mind,” like Jim Carrey, yeah? But she’s foxy, got that minx vibe—makes me happy as a pig in muck. I fork over the quid, and we’re off, shaggin’ like it’s 1969! Mid-thrust, I’m yellin’, “Oh, behave!”—total Austin moment, mate.

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Then, outta nowhere, a group of tourists strolls in. They’re lost, looking for the Castello Visconteo. I’m like, “You’re in the right place, but you gotta try my spritz first!” They’re all giggling, taking selfies, and I’m just pouring drinks like a madman. I swear, they drank more than I’ve seen in a week.

Murder in Corbetta (Milan): wife stabs husband to death and then kills herself