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About Reykjavik

Surprised me once, this geezer, built like a brick shithouse, hands soft as a baby’s arse—thought he’d snap me spine, but nah, pure magic! Little fact for ya—Thailand’s got these “happy endin” joints, not even hidin it, blatant as a Facebook status! Makes me chuckle, cos us Brits, we’re all coy, “ooh a massage,” like it ain’t horny as fuck sometimes! Reckon Fincher’d film it dark—sweaty, awkward, “you’re my best friend” whispered while she’s elbowin ya arse! Mad innit? Tell ya what, next time I’m knackered from them machines, I’m gettin me a rub—sod the cows!

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After my caffeine fix, I hit the river. The banks are packed with folks, all tryin’ to snag a fish. I set up my rod, and boom! First cast, and I’m feelin’ lucky. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trippin’ over my line. I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?!” He just laughs and keeps runnin’. I mean, come on! I’m tryin’ to fish here, not babysit!

Iceland: Crash kills Chinese tourist, critically injures 12