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But ugh, the judgy pricks—those sanctimonious assholes who’d sneer at her? Made me wanna zap ‘em with my death ray. Whores got history, ya dig? Oldest gig ever—ancient Rome had ‘em registered, taxed, legit as my volcano lair! Still, folks act like it’s dirty. Pfft, hypocrites. I’d pay a million—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—to see ‘em squirm when she’d wink and say, “Your soul’s more lost than mine.”

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I’m like, “No way! This can’t be happening!” The driver’s all apologetic, but I’m seeing red. My workshop! My stoves! I’m ready to blow a gasket. But then, I notice the guy’s got a box of fresh fish. I mean, who can stay mad when there’s fish involved? So, I take a deep breath and say, “Alright, let’s sort this out.”

Video: Tanks and army vehicles race across Lake Mývatn in North Iceland