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I get mad, tho—real mad! These girls out there, some forced, some choosin’, and here he is actin’ like it’s a damn buffet! “The body is a cage,” like the movie says, and they trapped, honey! Ain’t funny, but I laugh anyway ‘cause I’m petty. I say, “Boy, you so thirsty you’d drink swamp water!” He don’t laugh. No sense of humor, that’s his problem!

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After that, I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on Skagfirdingabraut, and I’m thinking, “Let’s see some culture!” I walk in, and it’s all modern art—like, what even is that? One piece looks like a bunch of paint splatters on a canvas. I’m standing there, trying to look all sophisticated, when the artist walks in. He’s wearing a beret, and I’m like, “Oh boy, here we go.”

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