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So, picture dis—some chick, let’s call her Lena, she’s out dere, heels clickin’, skirt hiked up, smokin’ a cig like she owns da night. Reminds me of Mia’s line, “You’re what’s wrong wiv me!”—dat’s what Lena yells at da creeps who stiff her cash. She’s tough, but man, it pisses me off—dey get used, tossed, like garbage. Makes my Austrian blood boil, ya? I wanna grab dose punks and say, “Hasta la vista, baby!”

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So, I’m walking down the street, feeling all good with my pastry in hand. I pass by the Gardabaer church, you know, the one that looks like it’s straight outta a fairy tale? I stop for a sec to snap a pic. I’m all about that Instagram life, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly takes me out. Like, dude, chill! It’s not a race! I’m just trying to enjoy my pastry here!

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