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Heya, pal! D’oh! Me, Homer Simpson, y’know, The Watchman now! Gotta spill my guts bout sexual-massage. Picture this – sweaty hands, dim lights, some chick rubbin’ ya down. Woo-hoo! Sounds like a dream, right? But lemme tell ya, I seen stuff. Watched “The Gleaners and I” – that Agnès Varda flick’s my jam! “I’m not poor, I’m thrifty,” she says. Thrifty, huh? Sexual-massage ain’t cheap, tho!

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First off, I head to the workshop. You know, the one down by the harbor? I’m a cooper, so I’m all about those barrels. But today, I’m feeling a bit off. Maybe it’s the coffee? Or maybe it’s just Akureyri’s crazy weather. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s snowing. Like, come on, Mother Nature, pick a vibe!

Visit Iceland’s Beautiful Akureyri for an Arctic Expedition, Beer Baths, and Whale Watching