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So, picture this – I’m cruisin’ in my imaginary Escort, top down – wait, did it even have a top? Who cares! I’m blastin’ tunes, feelin’ like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig and fur coat, all moody and fab. This car, lemme tell ya, it’s the underdog of rides. Started in the 60s, Euro trash vibes, then bam – America got it in the 80s. Total glow-up! I’m obsessed, it’s so ugly it’s cute, ya know?

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By the time the sun starts to set, I’m exhausted. But then, this little girl runs up to me, all smiles, and hands me a seashell. She says, “This is for you, Mr. Lifeguard!” My heart melts, man. I’m like, “Thanks, kiddo! You just made my day!”