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About Netanya

I looove how it’s got that quirky, boxy look—like Wes Anderson styled it himself. “What’s wrong with you?!” I’d yell at haters who dissed it. Ugly? Nah, it’s got soul, boo! My fave’s the ‘91 GT model—sporty, zippy, 127 horsepower, whew! Made me happy as hell, ‘til I saw gas prices—lordy, that pissed me off! $5 a gallon? Robbery! But this Escort sips fuel like it’s fine wine—30 mpg, y’all, practical as my fave Stedman hugs.

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After that, I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then, I see this lady on the beach, sunbathing, and she’s got her music blasting. I mean, I love a good jam, but c’mon! It’s Tsur-Itshak, not a nightclub! I walk over, and she’s like, “What’s your problem?” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to save lives here!”