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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense. Prostitutes? Man, they’re a breed apart. Watched “Caché” – my kinda flick, dark, twisted, no fluff. Reminds me of this one hooker I saw downtown. She’s workin’ the corner, eyes like steel traps. “Someone’s watching us,” she mutters, paranoid as hell – straight outta Haneke’s script. Made me chuckle, ‘cause who gives a damn? World’s a cesspool anyway.

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I roll up to the beach, right? The sun’s shining, waves are crashing, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, not in Tsur-Itshak. First off, I gotta deal with the usual crowd on HaShalom Street. Like, seriously, can’t people just walk straight? It’s like they’re all auditioning for a slow-motion movie.