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Prostitution? Dangerous as fuck, y’all! They’re out there, hustlin’, riskin’ their necks—literally! Saw this chick once, near Stan’s house—total skank, but ballsy. Heard she got jumped by some drunk asshole, still went back out. Like, what?! That’s crazier than me after a Scott Tenorman scam! Little known fact—back in the ‘70s, hookers in LA had this secret code, tappin’ heels on pavement to warn each other ‘bout pigs. Straight outta a PTA flick, man—“You smell like a cop, man!”

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By the time the sun starts to set, I’m exhausted. But then, this little girl runs up to me, all smiles, and hands me a seashell. She says, “This is for you, Mr. Lifeguard!” My heart melts, man. I’m like, “Thanks, kiddo! You just made my day!”