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Then, check this, I hear from a mate—did ya know prossies in Soho back in the ‘60s had secret codes? Like, two winks meant “fancy a quickie?” Little factoid for ya, keeps it real, innit? I’m chuffed to bits knowin’ that, feelin’ like a proper spy. “Yeah, baby, I’m in the know!”

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up the old Tor client and poke around you'll find something. Otherwise, get thee to Nevada if you're in the U.S. Yes, you can get a www.facebook.comg: Tiberias.

But then, I get a text from my boss again. “Need those notes by tomorrow.” I’m like, “Seriously?!” I can’t catch a break! But whatever, I’m not letting that ruin my night.

Boy diagnosed with rare ‘brain-eating amoeba’ is in critical condition