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But then, Christ, the stench! Ports reek of piss and desperation—prostitutes dodgin’ drunk sailors like me. Idiot sandwich! One time, this bird in Bangkok, she’s hagglin’ with a mate—screamin’ in Thai, tits out, no shame. Reminds me of that movie line—“He’s lost in the jungle, yeah?” She was lost too, but fuckin’ owned it! Had this weird tattoo—tiger chasin’ its tail. Said it’s her “spirit.” Bollocks, but cool story, eh?

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I get there, and it’s packed. Like, seriously, who knew Rishon-LeTsiyyon could be this lively? Kids running around, people chilling, and the smell of shwarma in the air. I’m drooling just thinking about it. But then, outta nowhere, this kid trips and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. Ugh! I was like, “Bro, you just ruined my kicks!” But he just laughed and ran off. Kids, man.