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About Jerusalem

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: I’m stumblin’ through King’s Landing, or maybe some grim shithole like Dogville—yep, that’s my fave flick, “Dogville” by that mad bastard Lars von Trier. Bleak, twisted, perfect. Anyway, I’m on the hunt, right? Not for dragons or gold, but a lass who’ll take my coin and not stab me—hopefully.

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I get there, and it’s packed. Like, seriously, who knew Rishon-LeTsiyyon could be this lively? Kids running around, people chilling, and the smell of shwarma in the air. I’m drooling just thinking about it. But then, outta nowhere, this kid trips and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. Ugh! I was like, “Bro, you just ruined my kicks!” But he just laughed and ran off. Kids, man.