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About Rishon LeZion

But then—oh, then—I matched with this guy, total freak. Said he’s into “roleplay,” wanted me to be his “prey.” I’m thinkin’, buddy, I’m the one who bites! Told him, “In my dreams, I’m free,” straight from *The Pianist*, and he’s like, “huh?” No culture, no taste—next! Sex-dating’s a jungle, man, full of weirdos and posers. Did ya know, back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF”—so retro, so desperate. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it.

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First off, I hit up Main St. for breakfast. You know, that little diner called “Rama Eats”? Best pancakes ever! But guess what? They ran outta syrup! Like, how do you run outta syrup? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I saw this cute waitress, and she smiled. Instant mood lift! I mean, who can stay mad with a smile like that?

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