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Me, I’m pissed—people think it’s just sleaze. Nyet, it’s art, precision, like a sniper shot. Hands hit the right spot, boom, stress gone. Happy? Da, when it’s done right—slow, firm, not some rushed rubdown. Surprised me once, this tiny babushka in Vladivostok, hands like steel, kneading knots out, erotic but classy, left me speechless. “Nature’s got no bad weather,” she said, smirking—Spike Lee line fits, nyet?

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So, I finally get to the clinic, and guess what? The power’s out! Like, seriously? In the middle of a clinical trial? I’m fuming. I mean, come on! We’re trying to save lives here, not play hide and seek with the electricity. I’m pacing around, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to my boss. Not fun.