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But yo, when it works? Damn, I’m happy. Found this chick once, total babe, we vibed hard. Sex-dating’s got that thrill—like, will they flake or fuck? Little fact: back in ‘05, same year as my fave flick, Craigslist was the OG hookup spot. Shady as hell, but real. Now it’s all apps, polished but still savage.

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I hit up the local café on HaSharon Street. Best place ever! The barista, this dude named Avi, knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, Avi, hit me with that double espresso!” He laughs, and I swear, he’s got the best smile. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Yossi. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the beach!”