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But here’s the kicker—she’s a mess, man. Leaves coffee cups everywhere, files all jumbled—drives me nuts! I’m organizin’ pens, she’s tossin’ ‘em like confetti. “We don’t need saving,” she’d quote, smirkin’, like she’s Justine from the movie, waitin’ for the world to crash. Happy? Hell no, I’m ragin’ half the time! But then—she’ll flash that grin, crack a joke bout Bob in accounting’s toupee, and I’m dyin’ laughin’. She’s a rollercoaster, up and down, unpredictable as shit.

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So, I’m still recovering from the feline attack when I decide to grab a coffee at my fave spot on HaGalil Street. I walk in, and the barista, this dude named Avi, is having a meltdown. He’s like, “I can’t find the milk!” Bro, it’s a coffee shop! How do you lose the milk? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, waiting, and I’m like, “Avi, just use water. I’ll take it black.” He looks at me like I’m crazy.

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