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About Jerusalem

Oh, and the oils—lordy, the smells! Lavender, eucalyptus—fancy shit! Pro tip: dim lights, slow jams, you’re golden. Exaggeratin’ for drama—I’d say it’s better than sex, but nah, it’s *with* sex, doubled up! Sarcasm time: “Oh nooo, a massage, how awful!” Pfft, gimme a break! Sexual-massage is the GOAT—fight me! Spontaneous as hell, messy, real—like me ramblin’ to you now! “Eyes see truth!”—Pan’s vibes say it’s legit. Now, go get rubbed, y’all—live a little!

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I get there, and Yossi’s already ranting about some crazy stuff. Apparently, there’s a new snake spell going around. I’m like, “What? A snake spell? Are we in a Harry Potter movie?” He’s dead serious. Says it’s making people act all weird. I’m like, “Bro, you sure it’s not just the heat?”

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