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Me, I get all riled up seein’ these poor gals out there. Makes me madder’n a wet hen—half these chicks don’t wanna be there, y’know? Traffickin’s a real bitch. But then I get happy—yeah, happy!—when I hear ‘bout some sting operation bustin’ a pimp. Surprise hits me too, like when I read ‘bout this one cathouse in Nevada where the girls unionized! Unionized! Can you believe it? “We demand dental, damnit!” I’m over here hollerin’, picturin’ ‘em picketin’ in fishnets.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I trip over my own feet. I’m on the ground, face first in the dirt. Great. Just great. I hear some giggles. I look up, and it’s a group of teens. They’re like, “Nice fall, bro!” Ugh, so embarrassing. But whatever, I laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

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