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Oh, and the oils—cor, they’re the secret weapon! Some use ylang-ylang, smells like sex and tropics, gets yer head spinnin’. Little story—mate of mine swears he saw Churchill’s ghost after one, reckon the old bulldog loved a cheeky rub. “We shall fight them in the fields,” he’s yellin’, while I’m thinkin’, “Mate, I’m fightin’ to not melt into this table!” Proper laugh, that.

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And guess what? I run into my old high school crush, Layla. She’s lookin’ fine, and I’m tryin’ to play it cool. But inside, I’m like, “Don’t mess this up, dude!” We chat for a bit, and she mentions she’s opening a new art gallery on Al-Mahdiyah. I’m like, “Wow, that’s awesome!” But then I remember I’m a bone cutter, not an art critic.