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Heya, dude! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s wild out there! I’m like, bouncin’ around Bikini Bottom thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m Patrick Star, your big pink pal, and I’m tellin’ ya ‘bout this crazy stuff. My fave movie’s “Almost Famous”—y’know, that rock ‘n’ roll vibe? “It’s all happening!”—that’s what I yell when I see ‘em on the street!

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First off, I’m tryin’ to get my coffee fix at that little café on the corner of Al-Mahajir Street. You know the one? The barista, bless her heart, spills my espresso all over the counter. I’m like, “Really? Is this how we start the day?” I mean, c’mon! I need my caffeine, not a coffee shower.

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