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About Jerusalem

So yeah, whore’s this unsung hero, man. Tiny, bendy, kinda stinky sometimes—smells like gas and regret. Makes me wonder, ya think it gets lonely? Nah, prolly not, it’s just a hose. But I love it, quirks and all! Next time ur car’s runnin smooth, thank the whore, dude. It’s out there, hustlin in the dark, makin magic happen. Is it weird I wanna hug it? Prolly! Oh well, that’s me—Patrick Star, car whisperer! Whore forever, baby!

Government policies

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Then, I decide to hit up the market on HaGolan Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m strolling through, and I see this massive watermelon. I mean, HUGE. I’m like, “I gotta get that.” So, I ask the vendor, “How much for the watermelon?” He says, “Fifty shekels.” I’m like, “Fifty?! For a watermelon?!” I mean, I love fruit, but c’mon! I’m not made of money!

To combat rampant crime on their streets, Israeli Arabs heed call to join police