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About Tel Aviv

But real talk, it’s a minefield—some places legit, some sketchy as hell. Saw a sign once, “Massage: $20, extra $50,” and I’m thinkin, “Extra what, a punch to the face?” Sarcasm’s my shield, mate—keeps me sane. Like, is this relaxation or a weird porno audition? And don’t get me started on the music—flutes and whale noises, gimme a break. I’d rather hear Bane yellin, “You merely adopted the dark!” while I’m gettin kneaded.

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So, I grab my coffee—sans foam—and head out. I’m walking down HaRishonim Street, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. Everyone’s hustling, and I’m just trying to dodge people like it’s a game of Frogger. Suddenly, I hear this loud honking. I look over, and it’s this guy in a beat-up old car, yelling at a pigeon. A pigeon! Like, bro, chill. It’s just a bird. But nah, he’s going off, and I’m just standing there, laughing my ass off.

Volume 135 Year 2023 Jaljuliya