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Find a Prostitute, man, it’s sneaky as hell. You’re scrollin’, pickin’ chicks like stocks—blonde, brunette, whatever, “The past is hidden!”—and I’m gettin’ all pissed ‘cause half these profiles are fake! Like, I’m tryna invest my damn cash, not get scammed by some dude in a wig! I saw one ad—$200 for “companionship”—and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s a steal!” But then, bam, she ghosts me! Made me so mad I kicked my Xbox—respect my authoritah, bitch!

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First off, I hit up the local café on HaShalom Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista, this dude, he’s like, “Sorry, we’re outta foam.” Outta foam?! Like, what even is that? I’m standing there, half-awake, and he’s just smiling like it’s no biggie. I’m like, “Dude, this is a coffee shop, not a foam-free zone!”

To combat rampant crime on their streets, Israeli Arabs heed call to join police