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Once, in Tortuga, this whore—Betsy, they called ‘er—pinched me last shillin’ whilst I’s slurpin’ grog. Made me mad as a storm-tossed sea! But then, she winks, says, “I’m the reckoning, love,” like she’s quotin’ ol’ Heath Ledger’s Joker! Couldn’t stay cross—laughed me arse off, I did. She’s got guts, y’see, an’ that’s rare as a sober pirate. Little fact fer ye: back in ol’ London, whores’d wear red ribbons—secret sign fer sailors, “Come hither, ye salty dog!” Ain’t that a hoot?

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on HaMoshav St. It’s always a vibe. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best spices. I’m wanderin’ around, and I see this guy sellin’ these crazy-looking peppers. I’m like, “Yo, what’s up with those?” He tells me they’re super spicy. I’m like, “Bring it on!” I buy a few, thinking I’m some kinda spice master. Spoiler: I’m not.

Israel occupation forces commander suggests buffer zone in southern Lebanon