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About Haifa

Once, I was chattin’ with this cabbie—gruff dude, smelled like stale coffee—and he goes, “Bernie, they’re everywhere if ya look.” I’m like, “No kiddin’!” He points out this dive bar, says it’s a hotspot. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ some gal inside, maybe hummin’ that *Moonrise* tune, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Hilarious, right? She’s prob’ly thinkin’ the same about her johns!

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And then, this sweet old lady comes up to me. She’s got this huge smile, and she’s like, “You’re doing a great job, dear!” I’m like, “Thanks, but I’m just trying to survive here!” She hands me a piece of baklava. I mean, who doesn’t love baklava? It’s like a sweet hug.

Beaches from Tel Aviv to Herzliya shut over pollution fears