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About Tel Aviv

I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, man, if I was a pimp, I’d be rollin’ in it! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? Prostitutes got stories—wild ones! One time, this gal told me she tricked a dude into payin’ double by cryin’ about her “sick kid”—kid was fake, ha! Total con, I freakin’ love it! “Sell me this pen!”—she’d sell ya her sob story and her ass in one go!

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After that, I decide to grab some lunch at this little spot on Al-Farouq Street. Best shawarma in town, no cap. I’m chowing down, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, dude, it’s hot! We’re in Bu-ayna-Nujaydat, not Antarctica! But he’s super into it, going on about climate change. I’m just nodding, trying not to choke on my food.