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Lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—did ya know way back, like ancient Rome times, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? True story, bitches! Stand out from the “good girls,” ha! Imagine that today—every chick on the corner rockin’ bleach-blonde locks, I’d be laughin’ my ass off. Makes me happy thinkin’ how dumb rules can be. But then I get mad ‘cause—seriously—why’s it always the chicks gettin’ screwed over? Dudes just walk away, no shame, ugh!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady comes up. She’s all frantic, waving her scissors like they’re a magic wand. “Help! I need these for my art!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a sharpener, not a magician!” But I take a look, and they’re duller than my ex’s sense of humor. I get ‘em sharp, and she’s over the moon. Like, I just saved her art project or something. Makes me feel all warm inside, ya know?

Sergeant Yoav Agmon killed in Hezbollah drone attack on Golani base