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About Rishon LeZion

What gets me happy? When folks find real sparks, not just hookups. Like my cousin Sue—she met her man on OkCupid, and now they’re hitched with a baby on the way. I’m cryin’ happy tears, hollerin’, “Look at me, I’m fuckin’ free!”—y’know, livin’ vicariously through ‘em like in that movie. But the creeps? Ooh, they make me wanna hurl my guitar! One time, a fella sent me a message sayin’ he’d “invest” in my “assets”—I told him, “Honey, these assets ain’t for sale, bless yer heart!”

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After the meeting, I decide to take a stroll down HaMoshavot. I need to clear my head. I pass by the local bakery, and oh man, the smell of fresh challah hits me. I can’t resist. I grab a loaf and a couple of those amazing pastries. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, feeling a bit better.

Tel Aviv cancels Independence Day fireworks show