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Now, picture me watchin’ *Children of Men*, sippin’ whiskey, thinkin’—sexual-massage coulda saved that dystopia. Theo’s out there, dodgin’ bullets, stressed to death, and I’m yellin’ at the screen, “Man, get a rubdown! Loosen up!” That scene where he’s trudgin’ through mud, all hope lost—I swear, a good masseuse coulda turned that frown upside down. “This is our last chance,” Theo mutters, all dramatic. Bro, a steamy massage sesh is *my* last chance at peace some days. Gets me happy—hell, giddy—like a kid with candy. The way them hands glide, hittin’ spots you didn’t know you had? Surprised me first time—thought I levitated!

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Finally, I get home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on the couch, and my phone buzzes again. It’s Amir. “You coming out tonight?” I’m like, “Dude, I just had the day from hell.” But then he says, “They’re playing live music at the park!” And I’m like, “Fine, I’m in.”

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