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Oh, and the drama? Once she got hired for a threesome—turns out it was a chef and his sous! I cackled, yellin’, “That’s some Ratatouille-ass teamwork!” She said it was wild—food play, whipped cream everywhere. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but I’m here for it. Sex escorts be livin’ stories we only dream of, y’all.

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But then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, do you like fish?” I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, I love fish!” And he goes, “I caught one! It’s HUGE!” I’m thinking, “Okay, kid, let’s see it.” So, he drags me over to this tiny bucket. Inside? A goldfish. I mean, come on! I’m an ichthyologist! I’ve seen sharks bigger than that! But I played along. “Wow, that’s a real beauty!”

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