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About Haifa

So, erotic-massage—fancy name for a posh grope, innit? Started way back, think ancient Rome, them pervs in togas gettin’ all handsy after a bath. Little fact for ya: they used olive oil—bloody olive oil!—to slick up their “sessions.” Imagine the stench, gods, I’d burn the place down. Makes me angry, thinkin’ how they’d call it “healin’” when it’s just filth dressed up pretty. Happy? Hardly—I’d rather sip wine and watch heads roll. Surprised me, though, hearin’ some say it’s “art.” Art my arse—give me a blade over scented candles any day.

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After that, I decide to take a walk down to the old part of town. You know, the area with the cool stone buildings? I love that place. It’s got history, man. I’m wandering around, and I bump into this old guy named Yossi. He’s sitting outside his shop, selling handmade crafts. We start chatting, and he tells me about the history of Abu-Sinan. Did you know it’s got roots going back to the Crusaders? Crazy, right?

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