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So, sex-dating, right – it’s all apps now, Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Yer scrollin, seein arse n tits, thinkin “Cor, she’s fit!” but half the time it’s bots or blokes catfishing – fuckin pisses me off! Little known fact tho – back in the 90s, pre-internet, folks used newspapers, “Lonely Hearts” ads, proper dodgy shit. Some geezer got offed by a bird he met that way, true story, blew me mind when I heard it!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, like, maybe 10 years old, runnin’ towards the water. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he dives right in. I’m like, “Okay, cool, just don’t drown, alright?” But then I notice his little sister, she’s just standing there, crying her eyes out. I’m like, “What’s up with her?” Turns out, she’s scared he’s gonna get swept away. So, I’m torn. Do I save the kid or comfort the sister? Ugh, lifeguard dilemmas, man.

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