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Favorite gig I heard? This chick in Vegas, calls herself “The Closer”—sells fantasies like I sell stocks. One client, big-shot lawyer, drops 50k just to watch her eat sushi naked— “I’m watching you!”—straight outta *Caché*, freaky voyeur shit. Laughed my ass off, guy’s a perv, but genius! Greed is good, see? She’s stackin’ cash, he’s livin’ his twisted movie.

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Then, I’m hammerin’ away, and I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s the neighbor’s kid, Timmy, knockin’ over a whole stack of bricks. I’m like, “Timmy! What are ya doin’, buddy?” He just shrugs, all innocent-like. I can’t even be mad. Kids, man. They’re a trip.