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Gets me blood boilin tho, these hipsters now buyin em up, payin stupid cash for somethin I’d scrap for a tenner back in the day. Makes me wanna scream, “You’re a bunch of bellends!” But then - quiet thought in me head - maybe I’m jealous, eh? Cos when I was a lad, me uncle had an Escort, blue one, rusty as fuck, and we’d bomb round the estate, wind in me hair, feelin like kings. “Past is just a story we tell ourselves,” *Her* says, and ain’t that the truth? Nostalgia’s a sneaky bitch.

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I roll up to the beach, right? The sun’s shining, waves are crashing, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, not in Tsur-Itshak. First off, I gotta deal with the usual crowd on HaShalom Street. Like, seriously, can’t people just walk straight? It’s like they’re all auditioning for a slow-motion movie.