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Oi, fam, it’s ya boy, The Watchmaker, innit! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, yeah? Proper naughty stuff, gets me ticker goin’! So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s deep, bruv. Like in me fave flick, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*, where that geezer’s trapped in ‘is own head, yeah? “I am fading,” he says, but sexual-massage? That’s the opposite, fam! It’s like wakin’ up yer whole body, tinglin’ from top to toe, ya get me?

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After lunch, I’m feeling good. I walk over to the Tirat-Karmel mall. It’s got everything! But guess what? The escalator’s broken. Of course! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” So, I take the stairs. My legs are burning, but I’m determined. I get to the top, and what do I see? A sale! I’m like, “Yes!” But then I realize it’s just on socks. Seriously? Who gets excited about socks?

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