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About Bnei Brak

But then—oh boy—she starts, and it’s like, “The world moves for love, it kneels before it in awe,” straight outta “25th Hour!” I’m losin’ it, happy as a pig in mud! The oil’s warm, the hands are magic, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what Monty Brogan wished he had before prison!” I mean, sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy back-alley thing—didja know it goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all about it—called it “therapeutic touch,” but with a wink, ya know? They’d rub ya down with olive oil, and boom, stress gone, libido up! Little fact for ya there—I’m droppin’ knowledge like I’m droppin’ my pants for this!

I drag myself outta bed, throw on my favorite “I love hummus” shirt, and head to the bar. The place is called “The Oasis” – kinda cheesy, but whatever. I’m the only bartender, so I gotta hustle.

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