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Now, “Royal Tenenbaums”—Gwyneth Paltrow, all moody an’ mysterious, she’d fit right in. “You’re a real bastard, Royal,” she’d snap, flickin’ ash at some dodgy punter. Escorts I’ve chatted to—over a pint, mind—say it’s all actin’. Like a play, but with randier costumes! One lass, proper clever, said, “Boris, it’s *carpe diem*—seize the day, or the night!” Made me laugh, that—sassy minx!

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We stumble outside, and it’s chaos. People are milling around, some are laughing, others are just confused. I see this old guy on the corner of HaGolan and HaSharon, trying to sell candles. I’m like, “Smart move, man!” He’s got a whole setup going. I’m half tempted to buy one just for the vibes.

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