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So, fun fact—did ya know back in ancient Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs to stand out? Wild, right? This chick I’m eyein’, she’s rockin’ red tips, and I’m like, “Yas, modern queen shit!” We chat, and she’s droppin’ stories—says she once had a client who paid her in rare coins, swear to God. I’m laughin’, “What, you a pirate now?” She’s got humor, too—sassy as me, and I’m here for it.

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We search high and low. I’m calling out, “Fluffy! Fluffy!” Like that’s gonna work. But then, I spot a tail sticking out from under a car. I’m like, “Bingo!” I crawl under, and there’s Fluffy, looking all smug. I grab the cat, and the kid is over the moon. I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then I realize I’m covered in dirt and cat hair.

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