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So, picture this – some geezer’s rubbin’ yer back, all sensual-like, and I’m there, hummin’, *dun-dun-dun*, Fury Road vibes kickin’ in. “I live, I die, I live again!” – that’s me, reborn after a good knead, mate! Them hands, tho, diggin’ into yer knots – ouch, bloody hell, that’s deep! Made me angry at first, like, “Oi, ease up, ya brute!” But then – ahhh, pure bliss, tension gone, happy as a pig in muck.

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After I break that up, I head to the cafeteria. You know, the food’s usually terrible, but today? They actually had some decent falafel. I’m munchin’ away, thinkin’ life’s not so bad, when I hear this loud crash. Turns out, some dude dropped his tray. I laugh, but then I see the look on his face. He’s mortified. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just food. You’ll live!”

Full coverage of Maccabi Petah Tikva vs Bnei Sakhnin game on Saturday 19th of April at 17:30 including match guide, data analysis, probability analysis, standings, previous meetings and form guide.