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About Petah Tikva

Dunno why folks make it so hush-hush. I mean, it’s just a job, right? Kinda funny tho—imagine me hirin’ one, all, “Uh, can ya just… dance?” Total Patrick move. I’d prolly spill jellyfish jam on her, screamin’, “Enhanced interrogation!” like in the movie—haha, so stupid! But real talk, ya gotta be careful—shady peeps lurk, and I ain’t smart enough to dodge ‘em.

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Next, I head to the Kabbalah Center. I’m not super into all that mystical stuff, but the energy is wild. I sit in on a session, and these folks are all chanting. I’m just trying to keep a straight face. One guy’s waving his arms around like he’s conducting an orchestra. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s just a meditation.”

Birthright participants to visit northern Israel for first time since Oct. 7