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Once heard this wild tale—some pirate got a sexual-massage so good, he forgot his ship! Laughed me square pants off! But real talk, it’s chill—relaxes ya *and* turns ya on. Double whammy, like Krabby Patties with extra zap! What’s yer take, pal? Ready fer a rubdown adventure? “Put that thing back where it came from!”—nah, keep them hands workin’, ha! I’m ready!

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After that, I head over to the market on HaRishonim Street. It’s bustling, as usual. I love the vibe there, but today? It’s like a scene from a movie. People are shouting, vendors are hawking their goods, and I’m just trying to find some fresh veggies. I spot this old lady selling the juiciest tomatoes. I’m like, “Lady, I’ll take five!” But she’s all, “Five? You need ten!” I’m like, “Chill, I don’t need a tomato army.”

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